Day 13: Single. And Ready to Mingle?

Your current relationship status. If dating/married, give us a glimpse of your story! If single, share about this special season.

Oh boy, if you’re in the season of singleness, this is the hottest topic of…LIFE!

I am single. And I go between being super comfortable to super anxious about this season.

I heard about a woman in her 40s who was single and I squirmed. But this woman had the opportunity to serve the Lord in different parts of the world through missions.

I met a girl who is in her mid 30s who is going to East Asia for the next two years to share the Gospel with a lost population and I actually thought, “When are you going to get married?”

I look back and I am so disappointed with my heart. Disappointed that this is the reaction I had. Disappointed that this is the first thought that came up.

The Lord has worked so heavily in my heart since these two occurrences. There was a time in my life when I did not want marriage. The desire was not there. Because of a wounded heart. It meant I had to be vulnerable. It meant I had to take the walls down. I swore that no one would have a chance to hurt me, again.

The fact is, when you block the negative emotions out, the joyful emotions don’t have a chance to come in either. That’s not the way to live your life for the Lord. When Jesus captured my heart, He surrounded every crevice of it. I had no idea how he could heal the wounds. I had no idea there were such deep wounds to heal. Once I surrendered my heart to Him, He took my heart and refined it.

The Lord has used people in my life to allow me to trust, again. To learn how to be transparent. To learn how to love appropriately. To learn how to accept love. In this past season, he has also shown me my capacity to have romantic feelings. In the past, I would have feelings for someone, and I would do everything I could to push them away. The victory in this past season is that I did not push away. I allowed myself to feel.

And I find myself, mostly comfortable with being single. The lie that the enemy wants you to believe is that your worth equates to your relationship status. I’ve got to tell you this is clearly not the case.

Because as a single woman…

I can put 100% of my focus on Christ and Christ alone.  I am in a season where many of my friends are married and have children. I. do. not. know. how. they. do. it. Their family is their ministry. I have the unbelievable privilege of being an aunt. I love on these kids and I give. them. back. It’s the best! I admire my friends who are wives and mothers, because they are completely selfless! This is the prime season, where I can focus on ensuring that my life is in the center of His will and know how I can affect the Kingdom, effectively.

I can invest in relationships. I have the privilege of leading a small group of women in Bible Study. I have a heart for connection. In this, I have the absolute delight in pouring into women and walking life with them in this season. It’s been so fruitful in our community. And my prayer is that God will allow me to do so for as long as He needs. In the season of marriage and having a family, it will be more difficult to leave the house spontaneously to grab a cup of coffee or get lunch. In this season, I have been able to spend time with single friends, married friends, and family with freedom. I love visiting them and learning from them.

Yesterday, I met with Katrina, Jenn, and Tashi, individually and just spent time with them. Learning what Jesus is doing in their lives. And it was seriously the sweetest time.

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I can continuously learn my full identity in Christ. I have the time to know Whose I am and Who I stand for. I know that I am spoken for.

I can serve Him! When He calls, I can answer, in any capacity.

 I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35, MSG)

There is nothing in my heart that looks down on marriage. I can’t wait for that season. But cultivating a heart of being present is my desire, and God’s desire, at this time. And as I am writing this blog, next to my roommate, watching television, I find myself content in this season. Until He says I’m ready, I will focus on the One who makes my heart sing. And develop a life, as a whole and holy instrument, with the Master, without a lot of distractions.

Brave Love Blog


3 Comments Add yours

  1. RosieRose says:

    LOVE this! I think you are right on about how as women the word “single” can be one of the scariest words in the “women” dictionary! But- if we do it right we can experience some of the most beautiful and intimate moments with Jesus. And from it grow to the woman He wants us to be. Very motivating and uplifting piece.
    a Single & loving it girly girl 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Let’s be friends 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Kate says:

    Beautifully written! I can completely relate. Cheers to savoring our single seasons!! xo`


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