Kenya, Bullet Journals, and Jen Hatmaker

Blogging is so full time.

I am grateful that my blog is so forgiving with my negligent attitude. My bad. You know I love you.

I have had 5 ideas that I needed to blog on, but didn’t. I am now a Bullet Journaler (y’all, it is life giving! A to do list, planner, and journal all in one??? YES PLEASE! My love for bullet journals need to have it’s own entry!), so hopefully I am better about pushing out blogs AND The Colorful Life.

June Habits in Bullet Journal

When it comes to the Colorful life, with my upcoming weeks, life is about to get extra colorful.

I am going to Kenya on Friday, for a mission trip. I found out two weeks ago. And I am away for two weeks.

So, let’s back up.

I met Jenny when I first went to Kenya, three years ago. Jenny inboxed me on Facebook and said she needed a counselor to go to Kenya. In. Two. Weeks. There were questions on the type of counselor I could be, license wise. My roommate and I prayed. My doubting Thomas of a heart wondered how I was going to raise thousands of dollars. In. Two. Weeks. 

But we prayed. We prayed for provision. We prayed that if He would open a door, I would walk right through it.

Not even 12 hours later, I received a call. It didn’t matter what type of licensing, as long as I could practice as a counselor. And I was told not to worry about fundraising, because a grant would cover my costs.

Wait. What?

I said yes, before I hung up the phone.

What in the world did Jesus just do?

The past two weeks have been prepping, physically. Buying a rain jacket (holla Burlington Coat Factory for discounted Columbia Rain Jackets!!), snacks, VACCINATIONS (I needed four, yick).

Sent out an email asking my nearest and dearest for donations to fulfill an Amazon Wish List and undies and socks for kiddos at Heshima Children’s Center. Not only did my tribe show up and show out, the Amazon Wish List is complete, we have undies and socks galore, and my church donated additional funds to the center. And donations are STILL coming in! Glory!

That alone, was enough to make me weep. That so many people who care about me have partnered up with me to help with needs.

Today, like less than an hour ago, I finally broke down. As I have spent the past two weeks prepping physically, my heart was trying to process something that it did not know how to process. Trying to translate emotions into words the English language could not express.

And today, it was too much.

My tiny, insignificant brain was trying to figure out how to express the majesty that is our Lord.

How can someone so holy and so perfect choose ME. So not holy. And so not perfect. To do his perfect work for his Kingdom?


No, really how?!

Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important.  As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God. 1 Corinthians 1:26-29, NLT

Oh. What’s up, fool?

You mean to tell me, that I am chosen, even in my imperfections? Just point to Jesus.

My heart is shattered. He chose me! I was talking to a dear friend of mine and it just moved me that she was chosen to be my nephew’s mother. God chose her for that specific mission.

He chose me for mine.

After going through intense training sessions and going through Helping Without Hurting in Short-Term Missions, I realized how pride welled up in my heart.

Oh, to be an American with limitless resources and opportunities.

Who did I think I was? Riding in on a white horse with all of the donations in hand! Such. A Savior complex.

Wrong framework, my dear. Wrong perspective. Just all around wrong!!!!!!!!

“Stop looking down on my children as needy, Marianne. You’re the neediest of them all.”

We are no different. We are no different. We are no different.

“Yes love the orphan. Because you know what? You were one. You were fatherless. “

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love  he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,  to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. -Ephesians 1:3-6

There it is again. Chose. Adoption. I am no different than an orphan. Because I was one.

Poverty. Is not about money. It’s about relationship. With sin, our relationship is broken from God. So…I. am. poor. You. are. poor. This is why when I see communities who may materialistically, have “nothing” in our eyes, their hearts overflow with rich abundance with Christ.

We are no different. We are no different. We are no different.

Money can’t save you from poverty. Only Jesus can. Because the real definition of poverty = broken relationships and brokenness. And we are ALL broken. THIS is the Gospel that you are able to translate throughout the world. THIS is the Jesus that the middle class American depends on AND those living in the slums in developing countries.

One of my favorite theologians, Jen Hatmaker, said in her book For the Love:

There is a biblical benchmark I now use…Here it is: If it isn’t also true for a poor single Christian mom in Haiti, it isn’t true…Theology is either true everywhere or it isn’t true anywhere. This helps untangle us from the American God Narrative and sets God free to be God instead of the My God in a Pocket I carried so long. It lends restraint when declaring what God does or does not think, because sometimes my portrayal of God’s ways sounds suspiciously like the American Dream and I had better check myself. Because of the Haitian single mom. Maybe I should speak less for God.

It all comes together. I know absolutely nothing about life.

Excuse me while I pick up the pieces of my brain and heart.

Pray for me. This imperfect mess of a girl needs it.



One Comment Add yours

  1. Edna Lee says:

    I love you blog!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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